Before we go deeper, let’s start from the beginning when we first have to find ourselves. Considering that we are looking for potential partner we should also consider ourselves as the subject; discover yourself first and ask yourself Simple questions such as “what is your favorite color?”, “your favorite food?”, “what keeps you busy?”.
You first need to identify who you are and the things that matter. You need to understand yourself first before others, just always remember that in a relationship the word “right” doesn’t mean “perfect” it is always a “trial and error” method. Though you get to meet someone who could be “potential” person, there is no guarantee that whether he would be the person you’ll end up with.
When you think you already found the “right” one, don’t ground yourself to the happy feeling you’re experiencing, keep yourself open to all possibilities like not actually ending up together. Be ready, sometimes you have to think negatively to avoid further emotional damage. So even you are in the middle of a fairytale and so much in love, try imagining yourself getting hurt or have a taste of disappointment; and when that sinks in, it would be easy for you to adjust and move on if the time comes.
The Process of Moving On
We all get hurt at times, but the most memorable are the ones that we least expect. Less expectation, fewer frustrations. Listed below are the stages of moving on and how to deal with it.
Why Did It Happen
After a break up we often ask questions why and how did it happen. We keep on asking ourselves the same thing over and over again. Desperate to find answers we sometimes tend to ask ex’s of what really causes the break-up. This is the hardest part because no matter how painful the truth would be, there is only one thing you can do; DEAL WITH IT.
After a not so good conversation with ex’s the pain follows, in this stage, you already have heard all he or she has to say from your first fight up to the things he/she said you did but actually never happened. The past will be dug out of the coffin and the things that didn’t matter before are making a huge scene on the break-up.
You would ask yourself if it’s really you who caused everything, you can’t stop thinking if you have done something wrong. The pain aggravates as you recall everything, and slowly you realize that there’s nothing wrong with you. You have done your part it’s just that it was never enough for him/her and it’s not your fault, it’s their loss.
Anger is the aftermath of all the efforts you’ve done that turn into nothing. In this stage, you would hate the fact that you have wasted your time on winning him/her back and adds to the frustration that you are still broken hearted. You will soon realize that he/she are the one to blame, you look at your past relationship as a total waste of time and that you should’ve never met him/her.
Acceptance and Moving On
The bright side of every broken hearts is that it has the capacity to heal itself, but it is up to you whether you’ll end up better or bitter. So when you are hurt right now feeling down and helpless, just look at the bright side and remember that things happen for a reason. When a door closes, another one will open for you. As what they say, you’ll never have the chance to experience better things if you won’t let go of the wrong ones. In the first place, if both of you really see each other as that someone they want to grow old with, with all your effort you should’ve done everything to make things work.
“Someday, you’ll meet that person that would make you understand why all those past relationships didn’t work out”.